Life is Funny, except when it's really not

Musings of a wacky American Muslim, with an obsession for all things literary, Asian pop culture and gummi candy as she lives life embracing both the funny and the not-so-funny.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Visit to the NYPD Headquarters

Hello lovely people!

I recently got a job at the Family Justice Center. It’s a program created by the mayor to serve victims of Domestic abuse. As an alumni of the Ladders for Leaders program, I was referred to the opportunity and after an initial meeting got the job. I’ll be working in the Children’s room, entertaining little rugrats as their parent(s) or guardian is being helped.

Before, I could start though, I needed to be fingerprinted and undergo a background check. Ohhh…ominous! lol So, I was given an appointment with an Officer R. for this Thursday morning at 10:30am over at the NYPD Headquarters located at One Police Plaza.

For those who know me, you may know that I have a thing for men in uniforms—firefighter, paramedics, military—I’m not really picky. And on that list, is of course police officers. So, couple that fetish with an overactive imagination and you can guarantee a fun time in Tuma-land!

One, I imagined (hoped) Officer R. who I had my appointment with would look something like this:
Except, obviously the good looking, young ones aren’t usually stuck behind a desk doing fingerprints, but are out doing more exciting things.

On to number two. I imagined a slick, technologically modern building. I mean the first security check-in was about 4/10 on the coolness meter. After going through the metal detectors I had to go up to this Metrocard machine looking thing and type in my name and take my own webcam pic. lol Kind of lame, huh? For a score of 10, the machine would have needed a retina-eye scanner, fingerprint scanner and voice recognition that pulls up all my information from which hospital room I was born in to what my grade was for Lit 132 before admitting me clearance into the building. Man! That would have been WICKED cool!

So, after the lame-o metro card machine clearance, I walked to the actual building. It was unassuming, so boring, so bland. Nice touch was the “Officers lost during duty or Performance” (forget the exact phrasing). There were a LOT of name and I was kind of humbled. I gave a mental salute (because a physical one would have brought attention to myself) and walked up to the next security check-in to get my pass.

I was supposed to go to the 6th floor, but Officer V. (I’m pretty good with names, huh? I’m not making these up. Really.) gave me a pass for the first floor. I went back and then he gave me a past for the 5th floor. What’s going on Officer V? Didn’t have your coffee and donut, yet? KIDDING. lol Bad cop joke.

Anyway, he waves me on and says it’s alright. And I’m mentally freaking out because there was a CLEARLY VISIBLE sign telling visitors that they were NOT allowed to be on any other floor except that which was indicated on their pass and they could be arrested if they did. AR-RES-TED (repeated for emphasis).

Despite that, I was able to get to the 6th floor with no mishap and got my fingerprints taken. This consists of having all five fingers rolled in ink and pressed on a card individually, then your two thumbs together, then your four other fingers together (both hands done separately). It was strangely entertaining, having my fingers handled and rolled and inked and pressed. Some of my amusement must have shown on my face because Officer R. suddenly asked, “Kind of fun, isn’t it?” And I giggled. Giggled! LOL Like a 12-year-old.

It was over pretty quickly and I left the building. I was expecting something MORE out of the NYPD headquarters. Not sure what, especially since I was only visiting one office on one floor, but the mind works in mysteriously ways, you know. No? You don’t know. So, it’s just MY mind then. Oh Phooey!

Stay out of trouble with the law!

Hasta la Vista,
Life is Funny.

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