Life is Funny, except when it's really not

Musings of a wacky American Muslim, with an obsession for all things literary, Asian pop culture and gummi candy as she lives life embracing both the funny and the not-so-funny.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Yoga Virgin No Longer!

Child. Downward-Facing Dog. Three-legged dog. Half-moon. High lunge. Lord of the Dance.
Warrior. Upward Salute. Crane. Four Limbed Staff. Cat. Dolphin. Full Boat.
Plank. Happy Baby. Bow.  Cobra.  Locus.  Sphinx. Corpse.
Reclining Big Toe. Legs-up-the-wall.

So, what the HECK am I talking about, you ask?
Poses, of course. Yoga poses to be exact. 

Today, I had my first Yoga session. Boy, let me tell you—yoga is no joke!
The Pforzheimer’s Honors College at Pace University, of which I am a member (and still cannot pronounce the name of), holds various events throughout the year. We are required to attend two events per semester and the one hour yoga session was the last one for the Fall semester. I explain this so you understand that I did not attend this event with a burning need to give Yoga a try. Quite the opposite actually and quoting myself (Which is totally the cool thing to do. Really.) “I'm really not in the mood for bending like a pretzel (is that yoga? or something else. I don't even know the difference lol), but I need one more event” (Facebook stat, 12/08/11, 9 hours ago). Yes, the citation was necessary; I am an English major after all. 

However, I digress. The point was: I did not really want to go do yoga on a Thursday afternoon. Instead, I wanted to go home, possibly eat donuts and finally get around to watching Season one of Dexter. No one more than I would promote the advantages of watching a crazed psychopath serial killer turned cop versus bending like a pretzel. Speaking of pretzels Auntie Anne’s has THE best cinnamon pretzel sticks and THE yummiest lemonade. You all should go get some. Like right now. 

Right. Back on topic. I wanted to watch Dexter while eating donuts, but instead I found myself bending and folding in ways I do not think *insert deity here* ever intended for me to bend. And bend I did. 

I’m not quite sure how I feel about yoga yet. Some poses were really fun and felt sooo good. Then, there were others that didn’t feel quite-so-good. However, that can probably be attributed to my lack of flexibility, balance and all-around loserness. ;)

Here were some of the more “fun” poses:
P.S. All pictures from

The Warrior Pose:
This one was kind of fun! However, instead of inhaling and exhaling like I was supposed to be doing, I was extolling my own virtues as a warrior in my head.
… Lame, I know. =)

Half Moon Pose
This one was fun! It wasn’t easy, but once I got it, I was like “Weeee!” ^__^

Downward-Facing Dog
I wasn’t sure how I felt about this pose at first, because the blood rushing to my head was no fun. However, we did it so many times that it kind of grew on me!

Happy Baby Pose:
This one was one of my favorites. HAHA It was just so much fun and we even got to rock side to side. I felt so carefree. Loved it!

The “not-so-fun” poses:
P.S. All pictures from

Full Boat Pose:
This one was so hard to manage. I know it’s called the full boat pose, but I was more a rocking boat in the eye of a storm! I couldn’t hold my balance at all. I learned an important lesson though: Skinny girl butts are not meant to hold us up in weird positions!

Crane Pose:
We tried this towards the end and it was impossible for me. I just couldn’t get up off the ground and when I finally did…I ended up nearly flipping over! Lol It was pretty funny after the embarrassment faded. 

One girl, who is a total Yoga Pro, stretched her legs out and up until she was on her head. I was in awe—jaw-dropping, mouth-opening, drooling-just-a-little awe!

Cobra Pose:
This one wasn’t too hard actually. I think it was just me not being flexible and my lower back muscles not getting enough stretching on a regular basis. Why call it Cobra though? Guess I can see the resemblance. But aren't other snakes just as bendy? *shrugs*
And the Holy-Crap-Thank-God-That-Woman-Took-It-Easy-On-Us-And-Didn't-Do-These Poses:
P.S. All pictures from
Heron Pose:
What the heck is this?! If human legs were meant to shoot up straight like that then we would have been born herons. Did someone think that just because both species’ names began with an “H” it would fly (lol Pun was unintended, but it works. Do herons fly, though? Too lazy to Google the answer)?

Standing Split Pose
What the bloody hell?! I cannot even do a regular split of the on-the-floor variety, let along this one. Looks so painful. Ouch!

Firefly Pose:
Just a few words for this pose. Never. Never in a million years. My puny arms cannot and will not hold my weight, no matter how little I am! 

Well, that’s all regarding the loss of my Yoga virginity.
Life is Funny.

1 comment:

  1. LMAO, nice post! I look forward to reading more blogs on here!!