My 20th Year of Existence (2011)–April to August

Part two of my 20th year, the months of April to August were both anticlimactic and significant. Anticlimactic because I spent a lot of it being a total waste of human life, and significant because of a few key events.

To start, after coming back from my trip to the motherland, I did a lot of bumming around. As I wrote in my journal on April 24th,

“I have never—in my 19 years of life on this earth—felt as useless as I do now. I feel like such a waste of air. My days have no real purpose. No school. No work. No Religion. No saving the planet, or feeding the hungry. Basically, I suck”.

In those first few months before I eventually got a job, I spent my days playing on my new sewing machine (on better, more constructive days), or on my computer spending hours reading manga, and watching anime and Asian dramas. If you interested in some of the series I’d watched during that time, visit my review blog at: Looney Express Reviews.

I needed structure, a schedule, which I didn’t have, so I started to slowly wither with idleness. My sleep schedule was totally screwed up with me staying up all night and sleeping all day, like a damn vampire, except without the sexiness! I would lucky to eat one proper meal, so I was too damn lazy to get up and make something, so I relied on the instant gratification of chocolate and gummi worms.

^{Lestat over Edward Cullen ANY day!}

When I wasn’t being a total waste of human flesh, I was doing a bit of soul searching. I realized that I was becoming a little bitter about my life and the diminishing of my childhood dreams. I’ve always wanted to experience the world and life to the fullest. I fantasized of traveling the world and taking photographs of the world’s treasures and awe-inspiring sights. I wanted to become a linguist and study several languages. I wanted to become cultured—attend concerts, festivals, see plays and musicals. But so many things continue to stand in my way—religion, family responsibility and my own fears and insecurities. I soon got past all of that. Thankfully, I’m too damn cheerful and determined to remain depressed and sullen for long.

In May, I finally got a job as a sales associate at Macys in White Plains. The job was exhausting and a pain in the ass, but it was nice to see money going into my checking account every week, but by the end of the summer, I don’t know where the HELL the majority of my money went! You don’t realize how much money you’re spending, until it’s all spent!

New York is Number One, err…Six!

I was so damn proud when NY became the sixth state to allow for Gay Marriage in the end of June. As excited as I was though, I was also greatly conflicted. As I was watching the news with my dad, I had to hide my excitement and pride and disgust towards my dad as he sprouted his right-wing religious doctrine rants. And I start to feel guilty for not condemning gays like other Muslims. But being who I am, that lasted about 30 seconds and I was like Fuck this, religion is a personal thing, so who cares what anybody else believes. It only matters how I interpret my own religion and if I’m okay with my feelings, then the world is an okay place!

Rye Playland Outing with Little Sis!

In July, and little sister and I went to Rye Playland for the first time. It was a lot of fun. We got on the Metro North and had a total blast. My little sis said it was “the best day of her life”, but she says that every time I take her out! lol

   

Officially an Adult – First Credit Card

You’re not an adult when you turn 18, not even at 21 when you can legally get wasted, it’s when you start acquiring debt via Credit Card! Got the Capital One Journey Card with just a $500 limit, which was nearly maxed out because of textbooks! Arg! I’m still paying it back! Not. Cool.

First Hurricane of NY! Cool!

Yes, I was actually excited about the hurricane warning in NYC on the 27th of August. I mean, we’ve never had a major natural disaster in my lifetime, so it was kind of cool. Of course, I was extremely disappointed that it was just like a regular rainstorm. *pout*

That’s it for now. Next is the last part of my year, Sept. to Dec. God, going back to school after 6 months was such a pain!

Hasta La Vista,

Tuma

Life is Funny

My 20th Year of Existence (2011) – January to March

The months of January-March were all about firsts. First time flying. First time visiting my native country—The Gambia. First time meeting my grandmother and the rest of my extended family.

My parents came to the USA 21 years ago as immigrants. My dad has been a citizen for a few years and has visited back home a few times over the years, but my mother has not. In 2010 she was finally granted permanent resident status and we immediately began planning a trip. I cannot believe how it must feel to not see your family for more than 20 years, especially considering how young my mom was when she came to this country, barely 19. It was a truly emotional experience for my mother and for me as well.

Everything was just so different from what I’m use to. The second the plane began its descend, I knew. “Uh, no, looks like we’re not in Kansas anymore”.

The first words out of my mouth were “This is the airport?!” In my thoughts— ‘What the hell?! Figures they’re going to land the plane in the damn bushes!’ My only defense for that slightly ignorant and offensive line was that we’d been flying for nearly 2 days. We had left NYC’s JFK airport around 1pm on the 12th of January and had arrived in Banjul (the capital) at 2pm the next day (with a 6 hours layover in Brussels, Belgium)!

My uncle came to pick us up and we went over to my dad’s compound (where we would stay with my uncle who lives there and helps maintain the place). We spent about 3 weeks in Serekunda (area near the capital), getting clothes sewn, visiting with my younger brother who’s been living and going to school there for a few years. After, we made our trip to my mom and dad’s villages—Dingiri and Missira, respectfully (or aka Bumfuck 1 & 2). Took us nearly 10 hours to drive there and believe me when I say it was not in luxury  or comfort. We were crammed into a van with 10 people total, there was an African man from Spain who was a little too friendly and wouldn’t shut up, I had to pee in a hole in the ground, my baby sis got sick and threw up—It was not a fun ride.

Well, at least now, I can say that I’ve gone cross-country before. So, what if it was a reallly teeny country!

We went to my father’s home town, Missira first, technically since my mom got married, it’s her official hometown too (small African village politics! lol). We spent about 4 days there, until we learned that someone from my mom’s village had come to visit and had a car (cars are not to be taken for granted there).

Dingiri is only about a 45 minute drive from Missira and once there… I finally met my last living grandparent, my mom’s mom. It was… I can’t even truly describe the various emotions I went through watching my grandmother finally lay eyes on her daughter, seeing the joy, and the relief that she lived long enough to see her third daughter, the same emotions as her eyes shifted to us, her three grand-daughters, It was powerful, important and something to be forever remembered.

I won’t go on to list the dozens of family members I met during my trip (hell, I couldn’t even keep track of them). I’ll just say, with multiple wives and 3-4 generations…it makes for a lot of people. However, that was the most important aspect of my trip. Despite, the lack of plumbing, internet, plentiful food, and comfort, I got to meet family, people who will always care no matter what, simply because the same blood runs through their veins as through mine. Two months of literally being constantly surrounded  by people, I realized that living in the States with only my immediate family is a little bit lonely. Major lesson learned from this trip? Family truly is the most important thing someone can have.

Top Row: My cousins in Serekunda and my younger sisters, Cousins in Missira with my younger sisters, My grandfather (mom’s dad) who passed about 2 years ago,

Bottom Left: My mom’s eldest sister and her family and me and my sister

Center: My grandmother, her sister (my great-aunt?) and my mom and baby sis.

Bottom Center: My mom’s second eldest sister and her kids.

Bottom Right: My lil sisters and my uncle.

Other lessons Learned?

• Don’t follow your cousins when they go out at night to steal mangoes from an old man’s property….You end up running in the dark!
• Don’t then eat said mangoes before they have completely ripened, because while their African intestines are used to it, your delicate American ones will have you running to the bathroom..in the dark…with the sheep and goats scarring the crap of you and near death by sheer EMBARASSMENT, cause you made your little sis come with you and stand guard against the things that go bump in the dark and made her cover her ears as your body noisily rejected the mangoes. And despite her solemn promise never to mention the event again…it still comes up! Grrr…
• There must be something in the water over there. Because the usually tomboyish me, became utterly girly. It was actually kind of disgusting. I mean, pretty African clothes, heels, make-up and hair all done!  HA HA
• There’s no such thing as adolescence. There are few young unmarried girls. And I was older than all of them! When I told them I was 19, still unmarried and without a fiancée or prospect in sight..they were shocked! Girls marry so young, at 14, 15, 16 years of age. But then again without any formal schooling in the villages, it’s like they may as well get married and serve some sort of purpose other than being an extra mouth to feed. lol
• The amount of freedom given to little kids is not good for my heart. As a city kid from the Big Apple, I could not take my baby sis (who was 2 at the time) just roaming all over the compound on her own. Compounds are like several building built near one another holding an extended family. Think a gated community, without the giant gate and a two-year-old going whenever she pleases….yea, I was having near heart attacks too.
• All of the sand in the world somehow ended up in the Gambia. There are no roads basically. Maybe like only 5% (Dunno, number pulled outta my bum, but it’s not a lot from what I’ve seen) of the country is paved and cemented. The capital, Banjul definitely has sidewalks and paved roads. Cities and Town near the capital, like Serekunda, have major/main roads paved. However, side roads or anywhere in the villages…is just sand. It’s nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get used to walking in sand when you’re lived your own life on concrete! Sand between toes, in shoes, on hems of clothes..everywhere! God, I’m never going to a beach for as long as I live, I’m so sick of sand. (Take that, Sand!)
• Taking a semester off from school to travel sounds great in theory, but sucks when you return and have nothing to do. More on that next post.

That’s how I spent the first two months of the year 2011. Next is the months of April to August.

Until next time,

Tuma,

Life is Funny, except when it’s not.